We here at 7Days love Khmer440, the one stop shop for jaded Riverside barflies, caption contests for foreign schemers getting busted by the 5-0 and winding up on the front page of Koh Santepheap, and Agony Aunts counselling young turks against the allures of marrying the sultry temptress they met the night before out the front of the Black Cat.

Of course, nothing on the site’s forums compares to those moments where long-simmering tension between two expats escalates into bald aggression, recorded for posterity and hilarity. With that in mind, we were amused last week to see reports of a violent spat between the voluminous NedK and his adversary connecticuter up at Street 110’s Garage Bar.

“I would like to publicly apologize for getting into a fist fight with NedK at the Garage this evening,” wrote connecticuter. “Ned, I apologize for sucker punching you in the face... However, you need to admit your role as well. When you postulated an absurd theory of aesthetics I patiently showed you why you were wrong… when you asserted that Shakespeare was a more pivotal figure than Socrates in western civilization, you were asking for it. No?”

Amidst a few snide remarks about gibbon arms and suggestions to settle the conflict with Marquess of Queensberry rules, the other aggrieved party responded:

“So, let me get this straight, you want me to ‘admit my role’ in getting punched by you, in the middle of a conversation, out of nowhere?” thundered NedK.

“Under normal circumstances, I’d have no interest in the subject we were ‘discussing’ because Greek philosophers are a bunch of perverts who believed in shit like Atlantis. You can probably find a guy with those credentials over at the Walkabout.”

Sadly, the pair eventually came let on that they’d been less than forthright. Part of the explanation for concocting their fantasy fistfight, according to connecticuter, was that: “there is a vocal minority on this forum, which sees the function of the forum as an internet version of the Jerry Springer show... So, give the people what they want: a train wreck that they can sneer at and wallow in.”

And to that vocal minority, please: don’t ever change.