It's

unclear whether Reverend Sun Myung Moon is the Messiah, but at the ripe old age of

86 he sure is a survivor.

The Reverend blew into town on November 27 in a high-security, non-publicized visit

that drew a crowd of 750 to hear him speak at the Hotel Inter-Continental.

Alert readers may remember that the Reverend stormed the US in the early 70s, capturing

the hearts and minds of thousands of zoned-out flower children searching for a more

meaningful anchor in life. In a nutshell, Moon's message was that all of humanity

was tainted because Eve - contrary to what we were told in the Bible - had conceived

with the snake rather than Adam, so all of our species has been Satan-ized, which

is why humans have problems like wars, crime, and bad breath - not to mention high

taxes or lousy service at restaurants.

The snake story is gone, now replaced by Satan using Cain to kill Abel, but we are

all still tainted nonetheless - ALL SIX BILLION OF US!

That is, of course, unless we accept the Rev's teachings and get married by the "Holy

Parents" (Moon and his wife), thus cleansing ourselves with a new pure seed.

But the Rev's message is not that simple. Here's more:

** "6,800 languages? Think about it! Did God like it? God did not like it."

** "As the true parent of humankind, I have a legacy."

** "So the time is coming ... thousands and thousands, millions and millions,

and billions will come to me with offers. I may be able to bring some money to your

country."

** "The CIA and KGB, all these notorious agencies, but then they found out what

I was doing was right for the world."

** "I know the timetable of God's providence. So by 2013 everything has to be

completed, so you wait and see."

** "You don't know who your parents are. They are all Satans. You have been

tricked. I know what I am talking about."

** "Now the American government is protecting me. Even when I left on this speaking

tour, the American government was quietly offering to protect me."

** "I know the truth inside out. Now the time is here. God's plan is revealed."

** "There is no need for 'churches'. They are nothing more than Devil's tricks

used to rule over man for thousands of years."

** "Once you receive the True Parents' blessing, you can have pure off-spring."