The Manhattan Club has had it! They've put their foot down and they won't tolerate

any more monkey business from X-heads and the like.

The message from top management is clear. Just read the sign in Khmer, Vietnamese,

Chinese and English which is readily visible to those leaving the club:

"FINAL NOTICE: If you carry drugs (ecstasy or other narcotics) into this club,

you will be searched, the drugs confiscated and destroyed. If you do it again you

will be arrested and sent to the police and prosecuted."

** The Diamond Hotel has put up a sign, possibly in response to some expressions

of concern about public hygiene voiced recently by key leaders. It reads: "No

Pissing Here".

There's only one problem with the notice. It's posted above the toilet in the Men's

Room off the hotel lobby.

** A foreign investor reports that informal taxation procedures have taken

on a new twist. Last week a soldier in full combat gear walks into his office and

says "I'm going to the front at Samrong. Please give me $100." The businessman

replies "Er, um, no please. We gave at the tax office."

** Human rights watchdoggers take note. A beaming Brit at the re-opening of

the Base disco when asked how he enjoyed life in the Kingdom said: "This country

is great. Where else in the world can you have so much freedom."

** There are a few wrinkles in the program with the new mine sniffer dogs

trained in Sweden. First, the dogs have just come from sub-freezing temperatures

and haven't quite adjusted to the heat. Some taken out for a walk have to be carried

back to their hutches.

Then, the Swedish dogs only eat special dogfood that comes from Ireland which has

been held up in customs for a month. (You gotta admit it. Customs has a right to

be perplexed: "Imported food for dogs? In cans? Wait a darn minute, let's check

that one!")

Also, some of the dogs have been trained to be camera-averse. So if you're a journalist

trying to take a few pictures, be warned, you may get pounced on.

** Political pundits are wondering: If Prince Ranariddh comes back, will the

pillboxes in front of his house go up before or after his return?

** Veteran scribe Lindsay Murdoch came back to town for a visit with a gleam

in his eye, fresh from a three-week seminar on Apsara dancing in, of all places,

Pattaya, Thailand.

Murdoch said that his dance training had "stretched both his body and supreme

consciuosness to new heights" adding that he had experienced "a oneness

with the cosmic vibration that connects all particles of the universe." He noted

that "a new feeling of love and mellowosity permeated" his being, which

he felt would be reflected in his newspaper writing assignments.