It's 11:30pm. Do you know where your children are? If you're lucky they may be

at The Heart of Darkness (better than cruising the Tuol Kork dyke!), having a bit

of a sweaty wriggle and writhe to the pulse of Western primal ritualistic beats,

in between well-informed discussions on substantive issues of the day. But hold on.

On a recent Friday the Heart was the site of a well-coordinated sting by cat-like

hookers and their transvestite cohorts. More than a few revelers got stitched up,

with losses including phone, purse and cash.

There is a reason why the Tonle Sap is one of the great natural wonders of the world.

Just ask an American couple who took a fast boat from Siem Reap to Phnom Penh and

got stuck on a silt bar. Their proposed solution to the problem was: "Why don't

we just wait until the tide comes up."

Keen observers-including one Gringo and one Paddy-of the variegated political subtleties

and cultural undercurrents that regularly sweep the Kingdom want to know why the

Vietnamese flag on the waterfront has been hanging upside down for over a month.

The white guy who drives the car with plate number ONU 978 with the Cellule Project

logo on the side door should have his license revoked for a month. Even with two

kids in the vehicle, he was seen tooling along like a madman on April 30. One RGC

official left in his wake grumbled: "Sometimes these foreigners have no respect

for us."

Two cars owned by expatriates have now been stolen out of the Royal Phnom Penh Hotel

parking lot-the one closely guarded by Protek. Even more worrisome is the fact that

when the Protek honcho showed up to deal with the issue he implied both times that

it was the car owner's own fault. One Western diplomat whose car was nicked was not

amused.

The North Korean embassy has some great and dear pictures just next to the front

gate. And the captions are classic. Here's two:

"KPA soldiers are trained to be a-match-for-a hundred combatants capable of

beating an enemy with one blow."

"KPA soldiers train hard, out of a desire to punish the aggressors severely

if they touch even a blade of grass and a tree of their country."