** Motorists and pedestrians alike are breathing sighs of relief now that

the crosswalks and yellow dividing line have been painted on the road to Pochentong.

No more weaving way left into the on-coming traffic lane by frantic cabbies racing

to and from the airport and foot traffic is now neatly coordinated to cross the highway

at clearly-marked pedestrian zones.

** Given the recent push on motor safety, perhaps it would be useful to review

some of the unwritten rules of the road.

Left-Hand Turns: Start about 100 meters ahead of the road you want to turn onto and

angle your way slowly across traffic. If the road you're turning onto is more congested

than the one you're on, it is okay to turn abruptly left against the on-coming traffic

and then edge forward until you can cross over into the right-hand lane.

Right-Hand Turns: It is not necessary to look left to check the flow of traffic when

turning right. Proceed slowly without a care in the world. If someone hits you, exclaim

that they should have seen you coming, unless you have violated the Right of Way

rule.

Right of Way: Remember Thucydides: "The strong do what they will; the weak do

what they must."

Moto Convoys: Groups of motos, usually with young boys trying to chat up cute girls

are an important social institution, especially on Sundays. They should not be disrupted

or honked at. Give them wide berth as the moto drivers may be distracted and cross-moto-flirting

is protected by law.

Crowds: If you see one on the road, slow down and help block traffic so that it comes

to a complete standstill. If there is an accident, feel free to listen to the debate

about who was in the wrong.

Sirens: If you hear one, look around and pretend that you don't know where it is

coming from, and then just keep on driving as you were.

Moto Rearview Mirrors: These should be turned inwards at all times so you can make

sure your shirt buttons are done up properly.

** One of the new airlines in town has added a wrinkle to the definition of

Fast Food. As you jet your way to Bangkok at however many hundreds of kilometers

per hour, the cabin crew comes down the aisle and serves you none other than a cold

Lucky Burger.