One visitor to the US Consulate on Jan 15 was caught unawares when he was

told by a guard that the Consulate was closed.

"Closed? Why?," he asked.

"It's the King's birthday," replied the guard.

"Sorry? Whose

birthday?" the guy asked, now more confused.

"King Martin!"

The

traffic cops at the corner of Sihanouk and Monivong Boulevards have taken an

enlightened approach on how to deal with motorists caught without license

plates.

For struggling moto dupe drivers who are short on cash to pay

the 5,000 riel fine for no tags, the cops are now requiring them to drop and do

15 push-ups.

The following comes from a speech US President-elect George

Bush gave on Jan 11, 2000 in Washington, DC.

"I want it to be said that

the Bush administration was a results-oriented administration, because I believe

the results of focusing our attention and energy on teaching children to read

and having an education system that's responsive to the child and to the

parents, as opposed to mired in a system that refuses to change, will make

America what we want it to be-a more literate country and a hopefuller

country."

The management at the gun range, contrary to earlier reports,

now say that there are no cows available to use for target practice, and that

there haven't been any for a long time. However, business remains brisk and a

fair share of the clientele are young Japanese women who seem to get a kick out

of letting off a full cartridge from an AK-47.

The riverside is buzzing

with rumors and folks are definitely NOT happy. Restauranters and regular

patrons are mulling over a variety of responses on how to deal with the two

gigantic electric billboards for Sharp and Suzuki. Plans afoot range from a

global boycott of the two company's products to more nefarious schemes which

can't be printed in a family-oriented newspaper.

A report from Poipet

indicates that the ancient Immigration Office at the border-the old cement

structure that has been there for decades-has now been sold to make way for yet

another casino.

Grumbles are being heard from the Governor's office in

Siem Reap. Officials are ticked off that absolutely no funds are making their

way from all the tourist traffic to the Angkor Monuments to help clean up the

city.

If anyone had any doubts, visitors who have seen King Sihanouk

recently report that His Majesty will definitely sign the Khmer Rouge Tribunal

Law.