It's unclear whether Reverend Sun Myung Moon is the Messiah, but at the ripe old

age of 86 he sure is a survivor.

The Reverend blew into town on November

27 in a high-security, non-publicized visit that drew a crowd of 750 to hear him

speak at the Hotel Inter-Continental.

Alert readers may remember that the

Reverend stormed the US in the early 70s, capturing the hearts and minds of

thousands of zoned-out flower children searching for a more meaningful anchor in

life. In a nutshell, Moon's message was that all of humanity was tainted because

Eve - contrary to what we were told in the Bible - had conceived with the snake

rather than Adam, so all of our species has been Satan-ized, which is why humans

have problems like wars, crime, and bad breath - not to mention high taxes or

lousy service at restaurants.

The snake story is gone, now replaced by

Satan using Cain to kill Abel, but we are all still tainted nonetheless - ALL

SIX BILLION OF US!

That is, of course, unless we accept the Rev's

teachings and get married by the "Holy Parents" (Moon and his wife), thus

cleansing ourselves with a new pure seed.

But the Rev's message is not

that simple. Here's more:

** "6,800 languages? Think about it! Did God

like it? God did not like it."

** "As the true parent of humankind, I

have a legacy."

** "So the time is coming ... thousands and thousands,

millions and millions, and billions will come to me with offers. I may be able

to bring some money to your country."

** "The CIA and KGB, all these

notorious agencies, but then they found out what I was doing was right for the

world."

** "I know the timetable of God's providence. So by 2013

everything has to be completed, so you wait and see."

** "You don't know

who your parents are. They are all Satans. You have been tricked. I know what I

am talking about."

** "Now the American government is protecting me. Even

when I left on this speaking tour, the American government was quietly offering

to protect me."

** "I know the truth inside out. Now the time is here.

God's plan is revealed."

** "There is no need for 'churches'. They are

nothing more than Devil's tricks used to rule over man for thousands of

years."

** "Once you receive the True Parents' blessing, you can have

pure off-spring."