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Logo of Phnom Penh Post newspaper Phnom Penh Post - The Gecko: 24 September 1993

The Gecko: 24 September 1993

The Gecko hears that the restructuring of the new army includes some individuals

being promoted to general, but only for a price. If you want a star it may cost you

about $2,000. One Khmer-language newspaper joked there were no more stars in the

sky as they could all now be found on lapels around town.

Remember the ignominious departure of Bulgobatt-fires in the toilet, air hostesses

sexually harassed, passenger cabin trashed, monkeys running amok. Well, there's more.

The pilots of the first flight of 400 were so peeved that they said "no more"

unless UNTAC provided armed MPs on board for the second batch of 400. UNTAC agreed

and all Bulgobatters were searched before boarding the flight for Sophia. Items confiscated

included 36 snakes. One guy had a snake concealed in a belt around his waste. The

flight home was serene but only with the presence of baton-wielding Aussie MPs marching

up and down the aisles to make sure the boys didn't get out of line. Anybody want

to put some money on whether or not the Bulgarians get invited to participate in

U.N. missions down the road?

The Gecko hears that the Lucky Market needs to re-think its policy on how to deal

with the homeless and helpless. Recently, a woman was outside on the pavement crying

for help only to be met by one of the shop's employees who came out and kicked her

in the face. When she rolled over and lifted up her shirt to expose a fairly nasty

looking infection on her stomach, several more staff came out and hustled her into

a car to points unknown. As told to the Gecko, their uncaring rather brusque attitude

did not indicate that they were taking her to the hospital.

Ecological vandalism has hit the city. Instructions by UNTAC has led to the scalping

of a venerable old tree on the premises of their riverside HQ. The reason: to discourage

a long term resident colony of bats. Compounding the felony, the maintenance man

sends out a bell-ringer every day at dusk to further disorient the worried and harassed

flying animals. UNTAC will leave soon; the bats will likely be back.

Keep your eyes peeled for some unique entertainment at one of the expat eateries

in town. They've taken on a gal who used to be a fire eater.

Its finally been confirmed. An independent, totally unbiased panel of judges has

determined that Leo Dobbs' new baby boy is the cutest kid ever born in the history

of the human race.

A number of British crusty uppers have been complaining about not being invited to

the opening of the Brit Embassy last week. They include one "Honorable",

two "Your Wigships" and one "Your Boffinhoodness." Rumor has

it that the cabal is threatening to form a British Republican Party.

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