The Gecko has heard that if you make the trek up to Bokor in the mountains near

Kampot watch out for the cute baby pet bear that the French legionnaires have. It

bites.

With the recent visit to Phnom Penh by the distinguished president of le plus beau

pays du monde, the Gecko heard a joke going around town that goes as follows: What's

the difference between Cambodia and France? Answer: Nothing, they both have English

as a second language.

Mitterand appeared not to have noticed, mesmerized by the thousands of school children

and civil servants forced to endure the mid-day sun, but observers in the crowd were

treated to the SOC army band's rendition of such classics as Eric Clapton's "Cocaine."

Hmmm.

A guest staying at one of the fancy hotels in town had a bit of a fright recently.

While trying to go to sleep he heard some scurrying in the room and turned on the

light to see a rat running across the night table. He called the front desk and said,

"Could you please send someone to my room. There is a rat here." Nothing

was found during the investigation and the guest went nervously to sleep. The next

day he heard more scuffling, this time above the ceiling. The front desk was called

again. A maintenance man came up to check the crawl space above his room, noting

afterwards that "Yes, there was a rat, but its okay now, the rat is dead. It

was killed by an owl."

The Gecko has heard that some of the UNTAC boys in Oudong have come up with a clever

way to keep themselves entertained. They've developed a system where they come to

Phnom Penh, hire twenty prostitutes and bring them back to Oudong. After a week they

bring the girls back to Phnom Penh and swap them for another twenty. See, that way

they don't get too bored with having to use the same prostitutes all the time.

The Gecko heard that in Mondolkiri province the KR are dressed in the latest fashions.

One cadre was sporting a U.S. bomber pilot's jacket, circa '60s, with a Harley Davidson

logo sewed on front with the words "An American Legend" underneath.

All restauranteurs in town are encouraged to take note of the recent events at the

King's Restaurant near UNTAC headquarters. Apparently, some of the restaurant's staff

were a bit unhappy with management so they decided en masse to destroy and loot the

entire establishment. SOC riot police showed up, just to make sure things didn't

get out of control and, thanks to the generosity of the looters, enjoyed a few "liberated"

cold beers while they watched the free-for-all.

If anyone wonders whether "introducing Democracy" here will be a tough

job, the Gecko has told the Post to remind all readers that the one faction that

is most widely associated with the word "democracy" is the Khmer Rouge.

After all, the DK is the one political party that has been using the word "democrat"

the longest. Even the SNC gets confused from time to time, as reported by the newly

arrived National Democratic Institute, who had a delivery boy show up at their front

door with a letter from the SNC to the KR. Oops! Wrong address.