Half-baked bakery strike puts quartet in the cooler

Four men, who had apparently sworn off carbohydrates, were arrested on Sunday in Kandal province’s Muk Kampoul district for trying to smash up a local bakery – twice. Police said the men, aged 22 to 24, threw wooden sticks and rocks through the front window of the shop. The very next night, in a display of half-baked hooliganism, the men returned to the shop intent on vandalizing it again. Police nabbed the gluten-free goons, saying they were known gangsters and drug users in the area. Deum Ampil

Oil hustlers fail to rustle up plausible alibis

Two men who thought they’d struck black gold, wound up with steel cuffs instead in Pursat province’s Phnom Kravanh district on Sunday. According to police, a man filed a complaint against a 28-year-old perp for allegedly carting off 280 litres of oil from his plantation, and selling it to a 30-year-old accomplice. Police arrested the suspects on charges of theft and buying stolen goods, to which the pair confessed, proving the oil thieves were none too slick. Police are on the lookout for another, somewhat more slippery, accomplice. Koh Santepheap

Money but no honey riles would-be Romeo

A jilted lover allegedly jacked his rival at a wedding in Preah Sihanouk last Friday. According to the police, the lovelorn lout showed up to the wedding of the victim and his fiancée, a woman the suspect said he had loved for years and who had promised to marry him. After finding that even after years of working hard and saving money he would never marry his dream girl, the suspect did the next best thing: he punched her fiancé several times in the face. Police arrested the right-hook Romeo. Nokorwat

Hell hath no fury like an ex-boyfriend spurned

A 35-year-old Filipino engineer was critically injured on Sunday when an unknown man thought to be his girlfriend’s spurned lover attacked him with a stone in Kandal’s Loeuk Dek district. According to police, the victim accompanied his girlfriend to a local market on a motorbike. While he was waiting for her, the suspect hurled a huge rock at him, leaving him with serious injuries to the head. The suspect escaped. Kampuchea Thmey

iPhone envy proves too strong for 3 broke teens

A Stalwart Apple fan narrowly dodged a stabbing on Sunday night, when three broke teens threatened him with a knife in an attempt to steal his iPhone.  Police said the man was talking on his phone when the suspects approached. The man refused to give up the goods, scuffling with the three men while calling for help.  Nearby police intervened and hauled off the suspects, who confessed that they committed the crime because they had no money. Nokorwat

Translated by Phak Seangly