It's official. The Standing Committee of the Central Committee of the People's

Morality, Good Governance, Open Bar and Let's Party has unanimously voted that henceforth

(or is it forthwith?) all national day celebrations in the Kingdom will be required

to follow the example set by the UK on June 6 at the Inter-Conn. Accordingly, the

Committee instructs all fully accredited government delegations as follows: Keep

the speeches short, the cucumber sandwiches and chicken tikha puffs flowing, and

use the motto "United We Stand, And If You're Still Standing By 11pm You're

Either Embassy Staff, A Host Country National Short On Beer Money Or Just Plain Thirsty".

 

The Committee also awards an honorary mention to the British Embassy for its ice

carving, which was variously described as "Big Bong", "Bong Ben",

"Bong Thom", or "Big Bender".

As an example of the Committee's approval of the celebration of the Queen's birthday,

it can also be reported that only one wee carp was heard the entire night: Why aren't

the fish and chips wrapped in real newspaper? After an in-depth investigation and

the discovery of secret British documents, it has been learned that initially the

Phnom Penh Post was considered as an option but the paper was determined by embassy

intelligence agents to be thoroughly indigestible.

Congratulations are in order to David and Carol Mead who celebrated their 33rd

wedding anniversary on June 1. An insider reports that after more than three decades

of wedded bliss fireworks displays are still possible.

One accredited reporter wants to know why Thai officials escorting the Princess

on a tour of Tuol Sleng had the authority to shoo the press off the premises.

The governor of Kampong Cham has let the citizens of Kampong Cham town know that

they are responsible for re-paving the sidewalks in front of their houses and shops.

And the sooner they do it the better. The one contractor in town they can turn to

for the job just happens to be the governor's brother-in-law.

Sources say there is a bit of a tussle between the Ministry of Foreign Affairs

and the Prime Minister over extending the term for the Ambassador to the UN, Ouch

Borith. The PM wants him to stay but MoFA doesn't. Guess who may win?