Logo of Phnom Penh Post newspaper Phnom Penh Post - ‘Sick as a parrot or over the moon?’

‘Sick as a parrot or over the moon?’

‘Sick as a parrot or over the moon?’

Comment

One week into the new English Premier League season and it already appears to be a game of more than two clichés.

Alan Pardew finished Monday night off with the ultimate classic: “The performance up until the sending off was pretty sound … blah blah blah.”

The problem was, Alan, you were two nil down by then and pretty lucky to have scored nil.

If that were not comical enough from the bookies' favourite to win the first Premier League manager’s sack race, Pardew then threw in the line: “They could have bid when the game was over, and it had a huge effect on the game.”

The Newcastle United boss was of course referring to the £12 million ($18.8 million) made by Arsenal for the very talented Yohan Cabaye on the eve of their match against Manchester City.

Naturally this bid was so woefully short of the considered valuation of the player that it thereby traumatised all of his teammates to such an extent they were unable to think about anything else.

I noticed that after Steven Taylor swung a left hook at Sergio Aguero, for which he was of course red-carded, he left the pitch clearly muttering the line under his breath: “Should have been at least 20 million.”

However, the hypnotic state of the Magpies on the pitch probably did account for the fact they looked so mesmerised by the passing of the ball by the City slickers.

Only a day earlier on Sunday, Chelsea outclassed a Hull City side that were never at the horses in the first half.

Steve Bruce must have used various forms of electrical appliances in the break (probably borrowed from his old mentor Alex Ferguson) as in the second half, Hull fought like lions and kept a 45-minute clean sheet.

However, we can not say lions anymore as Hull are now officially ‘The Tigers’, yet another footballing farce.

So what did Mourinho make of it all? Well the Portuguese maestro came out with the timeless: “They couldn’t do the same as they did in the first half.”

José was illuminating us as to why Chelsea’s second half performance was not on the same level as their first, claiming that “no one” can play at that pace for an entire game.

A fair point perhaps after the ridiculous scheduling of the midweek internationals, yet Manchester City managed a game of two halves at a terrific tempo only a day later.

Then finally there is of course the professor of all clichés – Arsene Wenger.

Defending his clubs inability to entice anyone to the Emirates during the summer despite the availability of £70 million, Arsene said: “If you look at the players who play tomorrow, they are top quality players, and you should never forget that.”

The problem is, Arsene, they are all injured. Alex-Oxlade Chamberlain is out for six weeks, as is Mikel Arteta, Nacho Monreal and Aaron Ramsey. Kieran Gibbs is nursing a gashed forehead.

However, I have heard that one of the Emirates tea ladies is quite a good dribbler, “has the mark of a true champion” and therefore this season is still “all to play for”.

Bob Morton is a British journalist currently based in Singapore. He has a first-class degree in Media and was previously a correspondent for Ladbrokes Racing.

MOST VIEWED

  • Proof giants walked among us humans?

    For years a debate has waged about whether certain bas relief carvings at the 12th-century To Prohm Temple, one of the most popular attractions at the Angkor Wat Temple Complex in Siem Reap province, depicted dinosaurs or some rather less exotic and more contemporary animal,

  • New US bill ‘is a violation of Cambodian independence’

    After a US congressmen introduced bipartisan legislation that will enact sanctions on Cambodian officials responsible for “undermining democracy” in the Kingdom, government officials and the ruling Cambodian People’s Party on Sunday said they regarded the potential action as the “violation of independence and sovereignty

  • Long way to go before Cambodia gets a ‘smart city’

    Phnom Penh, Siem Reap and Battambang will struggle to attain smart city status without adopting far reaching master plans, according to officials tasked with implementing the program. The brainchild of the Association of Southeast Asian Nations (Asean), the smart city program seeks to link up

  • Japan bank buys major stake in ANZ Royal Bank

    Japan's largest bank acquired more than half of ANZ’s shares in Cambodia on Thursday, according to a statement from Kith Meng’s Royal Group. Japan's JTrust Bank, announced that they had acquired a 55% of stake in ANZ Royal Bank. According to a Royal Group