There's a new twist on the security precautions people are taking around town

to make sure that prying ears don't listen in on phone calls. It used to be that

one just shut off a mobile phone to guarantee that some techie couldn't tap your

line. Now even that doesn't seem reliable. The new tricks are to take out the battery

or, even if the phone is turned off, take it into another room altogether and bury

it under a pillow.

** The Heart of Darkness is living up to its reputation. Last week an unhappy soldier

came by and insisted that the bar close early because a car was parked in the wrong

place. He seemed uninterested in discussing the problem and, to make his point, let

off two rounds from an AK crouched on his hip. Heart patrons got the message, after

some of the rookies in town ran for cover, and the pub was quickly evacuated.

The soldier got the message the next day from his superior who was not at all pleased

with the fit of unruly behaviour. The penalty for discharging his weapon was twenty

push-ups and a two-hour stint standing at attention in the mid-day sun.

** Who was it who said "Beware of experts"? An expat company had a car

stolen and they contacted some local security experts to try and get the vehicle

back, who said they had a pretty good idea where it might be. So, a whole bunch of

guys loaded to the teeth with B-40s and what-not headed down to Svay Rieng to set

up a stakeout along the border where a stolen car ring was well known for offloading

hot merchandise into Vietnam.

Sure enough, a vehicle came by and the trap was sprung. After a tense standoff the

crooks realised they were outgunned and gave up. The client in question was initially

delighted only to realize on closer inspection that the impounded car wasn't actually

his. No word on what happened to the seized vehicle, the crooks or what expert the

expat plans to contact next.

** Tom Maher has set up a new bar on St. 63, his third bar in Phnom Penh. Patrons

have dubbed it "T-3".

** In the midst of a deep, philosophical conversation with three Frenchmen, a dumb

Anglophone who keeps trying to improve his French asked: "What's the word in

French for 'daydream'? After a bit of pensive reflection came the response: "We

don't have a word for it. Don't worry, we'll find it." If anyone knows what

it is, please pass it along.