Logo of Phnom Penh Post newspaper Phnom Penh Post - The Gecko: 22 January 1999

The Gecko: 22 January 1999

The Gecko: 22 January 1999

If you think you've had a bad day, cheer up because it could have been worse.

Consider the following hard luck stories:

The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska

was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the saved animals were released back into

the wild amid cheers and applause. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer

whale.

A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order

to nag him constantly and study his reactions. After weeks of needling, he snapped

and beat her repeatedly with an axe leaving her mentally retarded.

In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on the world flagpole-sitting

record. Suffering from the flu he came down eight hours short of the 400 day record,

only to find out that his sponsor had gone bust, his girlfirend had left him and

his phone and electricity had been cut off.

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what

looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending

to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood

by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Till that moment he had been happily

listening to his walkman.

Two animal rights protestors were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a

slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through

a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death.

Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rah-najet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came

back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb,

he opened it and was blown to bits.

** On the local front, one source says that Sok An keeps piranas in his fish

pond. Apparently, they are well-behaved as long as they get fed regularly.

** Former KR General Chhuk Rin seems to have made the transition to peace

and stability in grand fashion. He's jumped full bore into the development process

and has now become a "certified" mushroom grower.

** How does one embassy employee get to Lucky Market quickly just before closing

time on a Sunday evening? Jump in the embassy Landcruiser with two truckloads of

security guys behind, turn on the sirens and flashing lights, and blast your way

through traffic so you can double park in front and dash in for some quick purchases

before they lock up for the night. Perhaps that's why Phnom Penh is a hardship post-too

many cars on the road!

** Crossword junkies be advised that the Ettamogah pub now has the International

Herald Tribune every day and the owners will even make a copy of the puzzle for you

if you want to take it home to solve at your leisure.

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