Reptile rights activists are up in arms about a recent toy seen making the rounds

of some of Phnom Penh's watering holes. The device, obviously designed by a heartless,

cruel company that doesn't realize reptiles have feelings too, is like a tiny flashlight

that projects a small dot of red light on walls or ceilings. Unsuspecting Ching-chokes,

out for their normal nightly feed, see the red light and mistake it for the rare

Southeast Asian Chartreuse Climbing Roach, a mysterious bug that only comes out of

hibernation once every ten years.

The Chingchokes, for their part, who savour the Climbing Roach, race fevorishly back

and forth across the wall trying to catch what they believe is the tasty critter,

while an audience of often-times inebriated homo sapiens chuckle themsleves into

a state of near frenzy at the little lizard's plight.

It's been learned that special agents of the activist organization "Lizards

Are Us" are now in the capital monitoring the situation and looking for ways

to deal with what they term "an explosion of reptile abuses."

One of the group's members who asked not to be identified, but whose name rhymes

with "Larry Dodgers," lost control of his emotions at the Ettamoogah Pub

last week - upon witnessing the travesty firsthand- and yelled out: "Let him

catch it, you cruel sod."

** The new American Ambassador to Cambodia Kenneth Quinn finally arrived in

Phnom Penh on Saturday. One of his first courtesy calls on Sunday - appropriately

enough - was to the Irish Rover. The ambssador steered clear of the Jamesions and

decided to satisfy his thirst on St Paddy's day with a Coke instead.

** Flights coming into Pochentong now announce over the intercom just before

arrival: "It is prohibited to take pictures of the airport." Anybody know

why?

** One police unit has come up with a unique method of target practice. They've

been seen lying on the ground in the park in front of the National Museum aiming

at targets along the road next to the Palace. If they miss the target, the bullets

would end up in the palace wall.

** Anyone who knows Bert Books can imagine the scene at the hospital when

his baby was born recently. Everready Burt was the only one with a flashlight. During

two power outages, he helped deliver three other kids.