Logo of Phnom Penh Post newspaper Phnom Penh Post - The Gecko : 23 September, 2005

The Gecko : 23 September, 2005

The Gecko : 23 September, 2005

The

Women's Media Center of Cambodia, with support from the Danish Institute for Human

Rights, sent out invitations to the press for a Seminar on Access to Information

to be held in Sihanoukville on Sept 14. The purpose was to bring together stakeholders

to discuss how to "implement Access to Information in Cambodia in accordance

with the new law on Archives as well as the Universal Declaration of Human Rights

and other international treaties and conventions."

The press were eager to attend but their stakeholder participation was spiked. Sessions

were closed to the press and public.

** This latest report from America: A major research institution has recently announced

the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been

named "Governmentium."

Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224

assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded

by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Govern-mentium has

no electrons, it is inert.

However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes

into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four

days to complete, even if it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years; it does not

decay but, instead, undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant

neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will

actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to

become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists

to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity

in concentration; this hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element which

radiates just as much energy as the Governmentium atom since it has half as many

peons but twice as many morons.

** If you see somebody who looks like Quincy Jones in Phnom Penh in October, that's

because it's him.

** At a recent session of the National Assembly one observer counted 26 Landcruisers,

3 Lexus, 2 Prados, 3 Pajeros and 36 sedans (ranging from Camrys to luxury Saloons).

** Ande Stanke says the article in Chakraval Daily about a "riverside street

restaurant" that has "naked dancing foreign women remaining underwear"

is not his place, and so he asks that reporters who have been trying to extort money

from him to not write about it please stop doing so.

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