Some new ideas are so popular they outrun their ability to keep up with market demand.
The Roast Beef sandwiches at the new Sharky Mart are a case in point, with word of
their popularity spreading so fast customers have now run into the pickle of none
available late at night. Management says they are aware of the issue, but supply
One Aging Bald White Guy has become so addicted to the sandwiches that he now complains
of suffering from withdrawal symptoms if he can't get an adequate daily supply.
A Tropical diplomatic source who declined to be shamed says he heard about the following
exchange with Sharky Mart staff one night around 2am.
Aging Bald White Guy, after a quick glance in the fridge: "Hey, I need one real
bad...I'm dealing with a wicked case of cold turkey here. What's the #$%&ing
Sharky Mart Staffer, responding politely: "Cole turkey, no have. Maybe you try
Aging Bald White Guy, sweating profusely: "Hey sister, I ain't smokin' no chicken.
I'm talking about Roast Beef. I'm gonna smoke this whole shop if you guys don't get
with the program."
Sharky Mart Staffer: "Sorry, no smoking in Sharky Mart."
Aging Bald White Guy, now clearly agitated: "Oh man, don't give me that. What
about the beef?"
Sharky Mart Staffer, still calm: "Roh Bee all finish 6 o'clock. Tuna salad,
Aging Bald White Guy, grasping at non-existent hair and then gesticulating wildly:
"Tuna? Tuna? Do I look like some kind of tuna freak to you?"
Sharky Mart Staffer (after Aging Bald White Guy storms out of shop), muttering under
her breath: "Actually, you look like some kind of psycho albino porpoise on
crack, mate, but what do I know!"
An Equatorial diplomatic source who declined to be framed said he heard that a number
of irate customers had met secretly to consider a variety of drastic options.
Calling themselves "The Big Pickle on the Roast Beef Sandwich Supply Crisis
Committee", they hatched a plot to kidnap Jay Steed and hold him for ransom,
but the plan broke down when a splinter faction emerged arguing that their list of
demands had to include a regular supply of Roast Beef sandwiches on Rye AND Whole
At Post press time, it has been learned that the group has stopped meeting as they
were unable to secure a quorum. They are instead now trading accusations and insults,
and arguing over who has the legal right to use the name of the committee.