Logo of Phnom Penh Post newspaper Phnom Penh Post - The Gecko: 27, August 2004

The Gecko: 27, August 2004

The Gecko: 27, August 2004

California's

new Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is making efforts to whip the state bureaucracy

into shape. The draft 2004 California State Employee Handbook was leaked to the Post.

Key sections are noted below:

SICK DAYS

We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able

to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

PERSONAL DAYS

Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and

Sunday.

LUNCH BREAK

Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more, so that they can

look healthy. Normal-size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get balanced meal to

maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's

all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast.

DRESS CODE

It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you

wearing $350 Prada sneakers, and carrying a $600 Gucci Bag, we assume you are doing

well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you

need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and

therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you

need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE

This is no excuse for missing work There is nothing you can do for dead friends,

relatives, or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend

to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral

should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through

your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

RESTROOM USE

Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute

time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet

paper roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After

your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under

the "Chronic Offenders" category.

Thank you for your loyalty to your great state. We wish to provide a positive employment

experience.

THE GOVERNATOR

MOST VIEWED

  • Breaking: US House passes 'Cambodia Democracy Act'

    The US House of Representatives in Washington, DC, on Monday, passed the “HR 526 Cambodia Democracy Act”, also known as the Cambodia Democracy Act of 2019. If signed off by the president, the bill will allow two major sets of action to be taken against high-ranking Cambodian

  • ‘Zero-dollar’ tours under fire

    Minister of Tourism Thong Khon has blamed “zero-dollar” tour operators for the decrease in foreign tourists to Angkor Archaeological Park in the first half of this year and has called for action against them. Angkor Archaeological Park received 1.24 million foreign visitors in the first half

  • Some jobs off limits to foreigners from August

    Beginning from the second week of August, foreigners will be banned from driving taxis and tuk-tuks, as well as being motorcycle delivery drivers, street food vendors, hairdressers and product distributors among other lower-income jobs. Some white-collar jobs such as the head of human resources will

  • Chinese-owned shops are on the rise in central Phnom Penh

    Informal businesses owned by Chinese nationals are on the rise in central Phnom Penh, especially in Tonle Bassac commune, surrounding Koh Pich. Such businesses have sprung up notably in Central Market, Orussey Market, Sovanna Shopping Mall, Rattana Plaza, as well as Kakab commune across from